Bupinder - The Indian Matchmaker

00:00:00: You know, I did that testimony ages ago for the car we were given.

00:00:05: And

00:00:06: yeah and i was crying in a testimony...I went on to Slick Central when I deleted it.

00:00:14: When you

00:00:15: have the powers!

00:00:18: It was good for years ago!

00:00:19: What's up?

00:00:20: No, on the actual like media files.

00:00:22: Like I went and saw these videos all of the testimonies will say... God does

00:00:25: not deserve that glory!

00:00:28: Not THAT one!

00:00:29: And

00:00:30: it was so raw when i was crying and just thought you know what?

00:00:33: That's had its time

00:00:35: Guys welcome.

00:00:36: Great to have you on this podcast.

00:00:39: We are very delighted To have you.

00:00:41: Are we drinking tea now

00:00:43: or...?

00:00:43: Um..I think we should.

00:00:44: I would

00:00:44: love some chai.

00:00:45: Okay

00:00:46: But the rules are.

00:00:48: You have

00:00:49: to

00:00:49: Do a slurp?

00:00:51: Naturally.

00:00:52: Yeah, if you're...

00:00:53: Should we eat together?

00:00:54: Yes I'm ready.

00:00:56: I feel like we should do...

00:00:57: We can

00:00:58: probably do a cheers here.

00:01:00: Nice to see you.

00:01:01: Nice to have you.

00:01:02: Cheers.

00:01:03: Okay Ready

00:01:05: Are we going

00:01:07: at the same time?

00:01:08: Three two one.

00:01:38: We are glad to have your here in particular because You know all about Notre Dame and you guys had been part of the world of Northern Japan for a long time.

00:01:47: But we are also interested in knowing your story, and finding out about how you guys got together.

00:01:55: Tell us who you are tell what you're doing in life but also

00:02:01: How did this happen?

00:02:05: I'm Arsha And i work at University London.

00:02:10: I grew up in a Hindu family came to faith as teenager have been following the Lord ever since and met Peter when I was twenty.

00:02:22: And that's when things got interesting!

00:02:24: I remember

00:02:25: it got

00:02:26: posted on Instagram, and i remember messaging you instantly... and I was like eyes emojis.

00:02:31: What what?

00:02:31: Got posted on instagram?

00:02:32: Peter?!

00:02:33: I remember.. It just

00:02:36: we weren't together at that point....it was just a white boy

00:02:40: Eyes emoji, I sent eyes.

00:02:42: So

00:02:43: you had taken a photo of me and just posted it with mystery?

00:02:46: Uh-huh

00:02:46: yeah

00:02:47: It was like...

00:02:47: Did you know about this before?

00:02:48: I don't recall this at all!

00:02:50: It was in the

00:02:50: carousel Of other photos.

00:02:52: But like brown girl's white boy We're just.

00:02:58: we were just friends.

00:02:59: What answer from that did you use to what is going on?

00:03:01: Oh

00:03:01: one hundred percent.

00:03:03: And everything

00:03:03: wanted.

00:03:04: Sunday.

00:03:04: She had

00:03:04: posted A different White Boy previously That i could tell From The Hold.

00:03:10: just friends.

00:03:11: And then the, I'm a stalker by nature...I don't know if you need this but give me five minutes and i'll find out everything!

00:03:17: But then I saw The Peter photo and I distinctly remember being like...and I said to eyes emojis..

00:03:26: I don't think men do are as savvy or at least I am not.

00:03:30: Like alert?

00:03:31: Alert those to the Instagram carousel clue.

00:03:38: This is an age thing.

00:03:39: You're quite old.

00:03:41: Yeah, that hasn't bring bore up yet.

00:03:43: It's also

00:03:44: how we survive as women.

00:03:45: in a world where we want boys to like us You gotta know who is lagging and whose going out with whom!

00:03:49: It's one of the only powers you have As a young woman or as a woman In general.

00:03:54: I

00:03:54: am gonna stop you there Because...you're talking about The powers of identifying With savvyness And everything else.

00:04:00: But i don't think.

00:04:01: if you remember When I asked your out on a date And you invited all Of your friends You didn't think it was a date.

00:04:08: you just thought oh this guy wants to.

00:04:10: he wants to go to outdoor cinema with headphones next to southampton wall, beautiful sunshine.

00:04:16: I Thought you would... It's summer time.

00:04:18: Let's invite all of your friends for things to do.

00:04:22: Listen Summer.

00:04:23: So alerted some thing not everything.

00:04:25: that is what we're learning.

00:04:25: Yeah so the Instagram post came about like year and half after All Of

00:04:28: This.

00:04:29: Okay

00:04:29: When Sean asked me out i also thought it Was A group Thing.

00:04:32: so maybe its Your fault.

00:04:33: Oh

00:04:35: Maybe you are missing Out on a. No, no.

00:04:39: It's a combined miscommunication there!

00:04:43: I have to accept some blame.

00:04:46: One of the big things on this podcast that we're trying to explore is The intersection of faith and culture.

00:04:54: Now obviously you are from different cultural backgrounds.

00:04:58: What was it like initially?

00:05:00: Adapting?

00:05:01: did it feel like he had to adapt?

00:05:03: Did you feel Like did actually do you feel already quite British or, and for you Peter was it like?

00:05:11: this is very different to what I'm used to?

00:05:14: I think one of the only barriers i had Was when we grew up in our family.

00:05:20: everything was so well portioned Like there's four us in Four Kids One Parent And Everything Had Its Place.

00:05:28: So You Knew Exactly How Much You Would Eat When It Came To Sort Of Starting To Sit Down With Ashes family where it's you know, there's such a joy and It's like really vibrant.

00:05:39: And then so much food because its so hospitable.

00:05:42: They could like stretch a lot of food.

00:05:45: I just get hung up on.

00:05:46: they'd be like Peter.

00:05:47: what are you doing?

00:05:48: I'm Like how much do you don't ask?

00:05:50: How Much Do You want to put it On the plate?

00:05:52: you let people eat but that i've Just got hung Up on out here.

00:05:56: Is That you Know?

00:05:56: is that Enough or is that too much?

00:05:57: was that Too little?

00:06:00: yeah well i feel like thats A Really good Problem.

00:06:03: Bless you, that's so sweet.

00:06:07: Just an anxious body.

00:06:08: but apart from that I feel like the culture of family and caring for each other is still quite cross-cultural.

00:06:23: It was a long time.

00:06:24: we almost never had a boyfriend or girlfriend phase.

00:06:31: What is a boyfriend?

00:06:36: How do you feel about the words, are they weird to your head?

00:06:39: Well only recently I've started introducing Peter as my boyfriend.

00:06:45: Recently.

00:06:46: What do you mean recently?

00:06:47: You're married!

00:06:48: So I take objection to this, we are married and... We never call each other boyfriend or girlfriend.

00:06:55: No but i feel like it's just really missed out on having

00:06:58: a boyfriend.

00:06:58: Oh see your living what you miss out.

00:07:00: Yeah okay.

00:07:02: so

00:07:03: also who is this?

00:07:04: Meet my boyfriend Peter.

00:07:07: But no, like culturally it's a weird thing to say isn't?

00:07:10: It is so

00:07:10: strange and um... So that was the chat we had where Peter would introduce me To people in his circle.

00:07:18: In his old church friends And family neighbours.

00:07:22: As all this stuff.

00:07:23: as his girlfriend I would recoil physically cringed Because it just..it was so right for us at twenty one but obviously just does not sit right in my heart, in my mind.

00:07:38: It was funny because I remember when you first became a Christian... You had a similar reaction to the label of Christian?

00:07:44: That's true!

00:07:45: ...you didn't call yourself...?

00:07:47: Why was that?

00:07:48: I felt like my identity was so.... That's really big word isn't it?

00:07:54: but like..it felt like i'd always been a Hindu and I'd grown up Like in my group of friends, like there was one seat girl.

00:08:05: One Hindu Girl or a couple of Catholic girls and we all had our place And I was the Hindu girl.

00:08:14: So it felt really strange to... Once i'd come to faith and made that choice To let That go Even though- I didn't outwardly call myself a Hindu anymore I found it really difficult to then label myself a Christian.

00:08:34: It was nothing, I don't think anything to do with being a Christian but rather like feeling like I'd lost something that I had where I felt like I was part of something and I...I was already- Being the only Christian in my family, I'd already lost quite a lot by that point.

00:08:54: so.. And still trying to figure out who Yeah, who I was and what that meant.

00:09:02: And so adding a label like Christian felt so permanent and scary...I think there were maybe a few people in my extended family Who thought oh she- Like when it became more obvious um That Peter and i we're together Um.

00:09:19: or in particular When We Got Engaged um who for them?

00:09:23: It Then Suddenly Made Sense That I Was A Christian that I had chosen Jesus because there was a white boy in my life.

00:09:30: Right and

00:09:32: even though you would become a Christian before you met Peter?

00:09:35: Before i knew peter existed, um...I chose jesus.

00:09:38: so um..i made that choice at seventeen didn't meet peter until um i was twenty!

00:09:46: And so they're-and that didn't matter for my family.

00:09:50: it just suddenly clicked in their minds that this must be the reason why I betrayed the family or departed from what i'd always known.

00:10:02: Because in the traditional South Asian mind, Christianity is a Western religion?

00:10:07: Yep!

00:10:09: I felt like the opposite slightly...I was like why did I fall in love with a white

00:10:14: man?!

00:10:14: I was like no this is the one thing I didn't want to do because it's really...

00:10:20: No shade Peter!

00:10:21: Prayed for a good Indian Christian boy cause at least there

00:10:25: must be None, firstly.

00:10:29: None that I've found.

00:10:31: Sorry, Anthony.

00:10:33: But I

00:10:34: was like you're raising good Indian Christian boys.

00:10:36: well done

00:10:37: yeah

00:10:38: but just and i was so mad because i was like Lord.

00:10:42: this is gonna look really bad!

00:10:43: Like I had done this on purpose.

00:10:46: and they're going to think that I married an English boy Because I'm now a Christian.

00:10:51: So you thought it would confirm biases?

00:10:53: Yeah I was fuming.

00:10:56: No regrets, but fuming.

00:11:00: It's so true!

00:11:01: And it is hard to convince them otherwise.

00:11:05: and there are already many consequences of leaving a faith like becoming a Christian in your family that I can't for then just feel justified.

00:11:18: maybe some other things they said or did just felt like going backwards a little

00:11:24: bit.

00:11:24: Yeah, I told you so!

00:11:25: I knew it was right and you're like...

00:11:27: Frustrating!

00:11:28: So frustrating.

00:11:30: but our wedding was a great time of testimony.

00:11:36: um and there was- There was a lot that we didn't have.

00:11:41: resource wise We were just quite broke.

00:11:44: And uh..we were doing things ourselves.

00:11:47: Our family saw both sides struggle for particular things and or like try to plan things.

00:11:54: And in the middle of COVID, having all these restrictions so there was a lot of bits and pieces of grief around that they were traveling with us through all of that then seeing miracles happen as we would pray They'd stand with us whilst we prayed eventually also be praying answers to prayer and then true big miracles happen.

00:12:26: that sort of shocked them in the best way possible.

00:12:30: And like, That's God using something that was so complicated and so hard for good.

00:12:38: So we can only be grateful and pray they're.

00:12:41: in hindsight All those questions will have been bubbling up around at time that God would have planted some seeds through all of them.

00:12:53: Yes, wow!

00:12:55: Peter did you ever think that you were going to marry a brown girl?

00:12:58: Because I asked one this all the time and he's like no but not because he is secretly racist He

00:13:05: just didn't even think about it.

00:13:06: And i was like

00:13:08: yeah where are your like... Did you ever thing...?

00:13:12: I definitely wasn't going for specific niche or tight.

00:13:15: I'll pick that nationality

00:13:17: Yeah.

00:13:18: No, I mean just meeting Arsha was enough like her character speaks for itself.

00:13:26: but um i definitely had sort of some parts in my life that almost prepared me under a really small way.

00:13:34: so... Are you talking about

00:13:36: the man?

00:13:37: So You're not ready.

00:13:38: Yeah,

00:13:42: I'm ready!

00:13:45: So i went to school in Winchester and there's a school bus that goes from Southampton to Winchester.

00:13:50: they're dedicated school buses for this particular

00:13:53: school.

00:13:53: yeah um

00:13:54: And all of the buses that came from other areas were just known as buses our bus because it was from southampton Was called The Brown Bus.

00:14:03: Interesting because the majority of kids that got on their bus were brown.

00:14:07: But also, The Bus Driver was also Brown.

00:14:10: so he is an Indian man called Bupinda and he was the sweetest man you could... What

00:14:15: a name by

00:14:16: the way?

00:14:16: I know it right!

00:14:17: I

00:14:17: would like to be known but You can check later or send your screenshot.

00:14:22: Bupindas On My Boy's Baby Name List.

00:14:25: Because Of You It

00:14:28: Is

00:14:28: On There As A

00:14:30: Serious Consideration.

00:14:31: Bupinder Curtis.

00:14:32: I'm Here For It.

00:14:33: That sounds amazing.

00:14:34: Yeah, but Pindah Curtis really rolls off the thing.

00:14:36: I like her a lilt to it though.

00:14:37: But Pinderberry

00:14:38: Arnie Curtis.

00:14:39: Oh my goodness!

00:14:40: Anyway i just would like it's been known that you may have set the future... ...the course of My Child's Future forever.

00:14:45: So

00:14:46: because he was a sweet- You're

00:14:47: Gujrati!!!

00:14:51: What are you on about?

00:14:53: He is a sweet man.

00:14:54: He

00:14:55: was a cute and considerate guy who owned three subway chains.

00:14:58: so At the end of each turn, we'd give us Subway cookies and if he went India.

00:15:08: He'd bring us back some Indian sweets.

00:15:10: so like my favorite was like Khajikadli.

00:15:13: So good they always go straight away.

00:15:15: And yeah, he's generally a really nice guy and he would always check in on you to hold the bus If were running late, he'd check-in.

00:15:25: There was also a premier market, which is owned by some Gujarati friends and they were all so very sweet.

00:15:32: They'd give me discounts all the time.

00:15:33: So these people just opened the door to the Asian culture for you?

00:15:37: I

00:15:37: think so.

00:15:37: yeah it's almost like primed

00:15:39: you.

00:15:40: People have stereotypes about different cultures And i've no idea why.

00:15:43: because there are so hospitable when their so open.

00:15:46: that're welcome in loving.

00:15:49: Oh yeah, it's needed.

00:15:49: Yeah good old Nige needs to hear this.

00:15:56: um I love that.

00:15:58: Big Boops prepared you for big boobs!

00:16:02: Has Rhea affectionately causing?

00:16:03: No me and year seven.

00:16:05: i wish i could come up with those cool nicknames but... I was more just very like very uh introverted and i'd be like You know.

00:16:17: Good impression of your former self.

00:16:18: by the

00:16:19: way I'll show you his baby name.

00:16:21: That's afterwards, but after you told me that story I think like five six years ago.

00:16:25: It's been on there since

00:16:27: and one of our observations Of you guys is over the years pizza because we've seen no new guys.

00:16:34: You have become more and more entrenched in Asian culture?

00:16:37: you are.

00:16:39: i Think We would say you were maybe overtaking us shirt in that I

00:16:42: Have never seen a white man wear flip-flops More In my entire life.

00:16:49: Then I have seen Pete in all weather conditions.

00:16:53: Peter has worn flip-flops and she knows sometimes they've walked into church, And i'm just having a really rubbish morning and you're smiling at me In your little flip flops?

00:17:03: Oh my gosh!

00:17:04: What a lovely man.

00:17:05: Everything's going to be okay.

00:17:08: Do feel like that was been the journey.

00:17:10: Yeah...I believe so.

00:17:12: Also.. I don't know if.... I wouldn't say I was missold anything but You know, how many curries or dals do you cook?

00:17:23: Listen!

00:17:25: Hang on a second.

00:17:28: I married a white man thinking i would never have to cook dal or roti or curry ever in my life, every end would I never... Would i be forced into the kitchen to kick these things?

00:17:41: What does Peter love more than anything in the world?

00:17:44: Darl and Ruddy and Curry.

00:17:46: He was raised him

00:17:47: well!

00:17:48: Well..I think that's also most of the British population to be fair.

00:17:51: Yeah.

00:17:52: Peter married me thinking he'd get Indian food all

00:17:56: the time.

00:17:58: That wasn't a soul arrangement by the way.

00:18:00: And

00:18:00: is it what happens?

00:18:02: No, Peter has now taken it upon himself to cook the darling roti and curry.

00:18:07: Oh nice!

00:18:08: And he made such a... He's like takeaway lovers.

00:18:12: Auntie and Uncle gave us pressure cuckoos and everything else and ever since I've just been playing telling him is there recipes?

00:18:19: At least he's not like.

00:18:20: oh Shall we have a Pusandha this weekend?

00:18:22: What is

00:18:23: that?

00:18:23: I don't know.

00:18:24: what's a Boona?

00:18:25: come on

00:18:25: i just need you to know that up, and every time i go

00:18:29: to

00:18:30: an Indian restaurant with people who are not indian they're always like oh really!

00:18:35: what should we

00:18:35: get?!

00:18:36: Like a gel frizzy...what's the difference between a Boonah and a Pussanda?

00:18:43: My mum and dad both Indian Indian got married and like, you know come from non-christian homes became Christians lost a lot of their family relationships.

00:18:56: Anyway they decide early on in marriage to go for an Indian...to an indian restaurant.

00:19:01: They're Indians..they go to an Indian restaurant.

00:19:03: I love the story!

00:19:03: ..They look at the menu And they are so confused by The British names Of the men You know?

00:19:11: Like the..the..the Samas, the Bounos, things that.

00:19:14: Yeah!

00:19:14: They don't know what it is.

00:19:15: They ended up ordering egg & chips

00:19:18: In an

00:19:18: Indian Restaurant

00:19:20: Like one of their first times eating out.

00:19:24: I'm not a curry dictionary, i just don't know what the difference is.

00:19:29: and that's like.

00:19:30: read the little description.

00:19:31: it says this one is coconut based, this one tomato base... we call it curry!

00:19:36: That's it!

00:19:37: What are you

00:19:37: having for dinner mum?

00:19:38: Curry!

00:19:39: She doesn't say oh we're having a parisanda

00:19:40: darling!

00:19:42: So much about this podcast is just about curry stories.

00:19:49: It's on the head, isn't it?

00:19:50: Thinking of a nail in my head.

00:19:50: Anyway... So you guys have that relationship and cultural mix has been happening over the years.

00:20:01: How fresh do you think are though

00:20:04: Like

00:20:04: if I tested Do You Think You Would Pass My Test?

00:20:08: At The Moment I'm Only Very Strong On Specific Words For Food.

00:20:15: Movie Quotes.

00:20:17: Peter likes

00:20:19: Bollywood.

00:20:20: Peter, why have we not hung out and watched Bolly?

00:20:22: We should film that one day!

00:20:24: What's your favourite BollyWood from Peter?

00:20:28: And then...

00:20:30: So many letters to that

00:20:30: one.

00:20:32: When I first met Arsha and told her i was Gujarati she sang

00:20:35: the song

00:20:36: From Galahona Ho

00:20:37: At Me.

00:20:37: One two three.

00:20:39: what

00:20:39: a community.

00:20:43: And whenever I walked into her room, do you know what Arsha was saying?

00:20:48: Do we not

00:20:58: have a game for Peter?

00:21:00: We do.

00:21:02: Oh dear...

00:21:03: This is the game section of the podcast!

00:21:06: No this will reflect poorly on me if i haven't trained him well

00:21:10: Okay.

00:21:10: No, no I've been learning of my own accord.

00:21:12: it's okay.

00:21:13: so i have a mixture of uh items and words that i just need you to tell me what they are in hindi.

00:21:23: You got it!

00:21:23: We can

00:21:23: crop

00:21:23: out anything.

00:21:24: this

00:21:24: doesn't work.

00:21:26: Are you ready?

00:21:26: Yeah.

00:21:27: Okay

00:21:28: number one Have you taught him this one?

00:21:33: Nothing nothing...you do.

00:21:42: That's really sweet.

00:21:43: But no, I failed the first one on the first round!

00:21:58: I'm so about... One of our biggest losses in this relationship is that i cannot roll my

00:22:03: ass.

00:22:05: You can't roll your

00:22:06: ass.

00:22:06: No, I can't say

00:22:07: okay?

00:22:08: i've heard you say this before

00:22:10: and I

00:22:11: I loved it so I wouldn't...

00:22:14: I mean..I would say that as ikkutki.

00:22:16: So like just a pinch ya know

00:22:19: but- I've heard of you before though That's not what I was expecting.

00:22:22: I

00:22:23: have heard you go tora tora.

00:22:25: Oh yeah!

00:22:26: Tora tara.

00:22:27: Yeah Ikkutiki is little

00:22:29: bit more advanced.

00:22:30: That's really impressive.

00:22:32: That's all our Bollywoodies been watching.

00:22:33: oh

00:22:35: you should know this one.

00:22:40: i'm not wearing them today.

00:22:41: uh yeah it's truffle.

00:22:43: yes

00:22:44: well done well down here.

00:22:47: okay

00:22:49: I think they say there is an old champion.

00:22:50: quite a lot.

00:22:52: Oh my goodness, I can't remember this one.

00:23:00: no do you want to use that for me?

00:23:06: No No, no.

00:23:07: I genuinely don't.

00:23:07: Oh it's

00:23:08: Bargo!

00:23:11: Do you know Sean knows all these?

00:23:12: because i call them?

00:23:14: You're calling him.

00:23:14: Call him Bargo.

00:23:16: You were

00:23:17: very nice to Peter.

00:23:24: We have never... Where is the condo?

00:23:28: where there are nummock was y'know or other things?

00:23:31: that its all food..I can do food

00:23:34: But what is that peter?

00:23:36: It's a television remote.

00:23:37: I don't know what it is in...

00:23:38: How would uncle say?

00:23:40: What would Uncle say?

00:23:41: Wow, you're really going to make me do this!

00:23:42: Yeah

00:23:42: yeah yeah Do it do it doit.

00:23:45: Can he pass on the remote?

00:23:46: That's it that's it!

00:23:48: Because

00:23:49: thats the Hindi That's the Hindi.

00:23:50: Okay are ya

00:23:52: ready?

00:23:54: Chalo

00:23:55: Chalo.

00:23:58: If its not chalo then i'm like You want a little bit of urgency.

00:24:01: Its like Jaldi Jaldigli.

00:24:02: Ahhhh you skipped.

00:24:05: I'm so sorry.

00:24:06: Go again!

00:24:09: Geldy, geldy!

00:24:10: Very

00:24:12: good

00:24:13: Are you ready?

00:24:20: What is that in English?

00:24:21: because it just looks like a big poo?

00:24:23: Is that... Tuberick?

00:24:27: Oh How do you say tuberick?

00:24:28: I can't remember.

00:24:29: It's not... You know Hing something different.

00:24:30: Hing is like... That's as for Yeah As for tea

00:24:34: You're on the right track.

00:24:37: I can' t remember their name.

00:24:39: Think of the dal recipe.

00:24:43: No, you said that or I'll just call Dad Coco.

00:24:47: He knows so much and asked the wrong questions?

00:24:52: You're

00:24:54: gonna kick yourself!

00:24:55: When we get a hotline i'm going to call in much later on

00:24:59: when we've got bigger budget.

00:25:01: Are

00:25:01: you ready for it?

00:25:03: It's Holy.

00:25:04: That

00:25:04: is so obvious.

00:25:05: Is

00:25:06: there one more?

00:25:08: We need to dress

00:25:11: for him

00:25:14: So

00:25:15: I might

00:25:16: understand the picture.

00:25:17: This is

00:25:17: Sean's favorite word in the whole wide world.

00:25:20: He says it to everyone and they don't know what it means.

00:25:22: And then he's like sorry, and then he'll say English version Can you see?

00:25:30: Yes I used to say that my friends in school assuming It was an english Word because i'd never heard Tupperware before

00:25:39: yeah but like it's overtaken tough aware for me exactly.

00:25:43: so i'll be talking to my family or talking around and people are going past their double.

00:25:47: And they'd be like sorry, I mean my family now will just refer them as dabbas as well.

00:25:52: that is evangelization

00:25:54: right?

00:25:54: I

00:25:54: didn't know that feeding your relatives cake was not normal.

00:26:01: No, I love it.

00:26:01: It's the hard way.

00:26:02: On birthdays

00:26:03: like everyone feeds you a piece of cake and you pose And you smile.

00:26:07: The next

00:26:08: person goes...I didn't know that wasn't normal.

00:26:12: Yes came

00:26:12: to uni.

00:26:14: Was someone's birthday?

00:26:16: I was like let's go!

00:26:17: They were like What are you doing?

00:26:22: Well done Peter.

00:26:23: That was very good.

00:26:26: But on that point i completely agree with ya.

00:26:28: my family terrified of having to pick up a spoon and feeding someone else cake.

00:26:34: Which sounds ridiculous, I

00:26:36: didn't realise it was normal.

00:26:37: So many things!

00:26:40: Asha you've sort-of talked about becoming the Christian.

00:26:43: just what was that like for you?

00:26:45: How did that happen?

00:26:47: I grew up being babysat by an auntie in the local area.

00:26:53: on her Sunday my sister and I would go over, she'd just take us to church because that's what she was doing on a Sunday.

00:26:59: So we grew up almost accidentally going to Sunday school every week as little kids then naturally became older didn't need to be babysit anymore started going secondary school and all of that.

00:27:12: Sunday School wasn't cool or interesting or fun so i had loads better things to do which fell away from it many years later reconnected with those Sunday school friends at someone's wedding.

00:27:28: We were quite strategically placed on the kids table, and it was like we'd never been away.

00:27:37: welcomed immediately Not long after that somehow ended up some random text chain And got a text from an unknown number.

00:27:49: maybe a month after this wedding ended up following the details in the text and ended up at Bible study with those same Sunday school friends.

00:27:58: And now we were sixteen, seventeen so it all sort of happened.

00:28:05: what felt like quite randomly but I couldn't keep away...I kept going back to this Bible study that I accidentally fell into week after week, then started going back church.

00:28:20: Started volunteering more in different roles and the church like with kids on welcome loved it...I couldn't explain why but i could keep away.

00:28:32: And my auntie and uncle well..my whole family they didn't know an objected because there was really nothing to point a finger at.

00:28:43: I wasn't going out doing drugs, like i wasn't Going Out and drinking...I wasn't staying out late!

00:28:52: I was just hanging up with really nice kids who were always home by four

00:28:58: p.m.,

00:28:59: so it in my behaviour that they could point their finger at to stop me from going or pick holes on what was happening because they can see a very clear difference.

00:29:11: I had a nicer sister and daughter, not like before but generally more pleasant to be around her.

00:29:21: so it felt... like quite protected in that sense, a long time of going quite consistently to church and being involved in lots of different things.

00:29:27: One of the leaders of That Bible Study, Ruksha your wife...

00:29:31: Do you

00:29:32: know her?

00:29:32: I have met

00:29:33: her!

00:29:34: She invited me around for coffee so i went.

00:29:37: after six or one day we chat about loads of stuff but then at some point she paused and said Hoshe can i just ask why do you keep coming.. Why do call yourself an Hindu but you keep and you're getting involved in loads of stuff, like it's... Like why?

00:29:53: I didn't really have an answer for her.

00:29:56: I ummed and awed about it for a long time but i couldn't put my finger on it And the only way I could describe to her was that everyone That I was friends with those kids from Sunday school clearly had something that I didn t have.

00:30:10: Um..I had much cooler friends at school!

00:30:13: I was smarter than many of them.

00:30:17: good, and I had it figured out.

00:30:19: And i knew what was going to come next.

00:30:20: like that...I didn't need this but I couldn't keep away!

00:30:26: This is my church.

00:30:27: friends were my favorite friends to be around.. I didn't explain it quite as eloquently As I am now, at the time.

00:30:34: all like... The only way i could put it into words was like rupture.

00:30:37: Imagine if we were all sat a dining table and everyone on that table is eating the world's most delicious chocolate cake And you can see them enjoying this cake.

00:30:47: You can see tasting this cake and loving it.

00:30:51: All you want to do is taste what they're tasting But you don't have it.

00:30:57: so there are some things stopping from getting and it took a long time for her to understand what I was trying to say, but eventually she's like, oh, sure that is not okay.

00:31:09: Your friends do not have something impossible you can't have.

00:31:14: That thing your seeing and sensing is Jesus.

00:31:17: all you have to do is pray this prayer and invite him into your life.

00:31:22: It just had not been spelled out for me that way before, it all just clicked into place.

00:31:27: so then in there together with Raksha I prayed to that prayer And...it was like a waterfall opened at the top of my head.

00:31:36: something flowed through me..and i'd struggled quite alot with depression till this point.

00:31:43: well since too but in those moments I felt so much lift off and just this lightness, and this joy that I couldn't...I had never really felt before.

00:31:54: And it has given my life to Jesus!

00:31:58: I heard

00:31:58: about you

00:31:59: when

00:32:00: we became Christians at the same time?

00:32:01: I don't know if you knew this but i have heard of around your time as a Christian that you had become a Christian.

00:32:09: And I remember someone being like, You have to meet this girl and I was okay!

00:32:14: We had such similar stories and grew up really similarly... Another Hindu Girl who is young and just followed Jesus....I want to be like, Oh,

00:32:24: she's so big!

00:32:25: It's fun.

00:32:26: we get to do life together now but I remembered hearing You have to become a Christian.

00:32:33: But I think there is encouragement in that, isn't it?

00:32:35: Because you're... In like a very small group non-Christian backgrounds following different faith system young women trying out who are your identity and then actually hearing each other's stories must be an encouragement

00:32:55: like weekends away and being just time of the year was my favourite because I could see

00:33:04: where,

00:33:05: as i was struggling with what that looked like.

00:33:07: What it would look in future for you And we get to do life together now

00:33:18: in your experience of Christian, young Christian people working out their faith and then you would expressing that without knowing maybe those thoughts or those words at the time.

00:33:35: But if you were explaining what is it about Christ following him because you have tasted?

00:33:46: And you've seen his own experience... That's good!

00:33:51: Why follow Jesus?

00:33:56: So much to be said about world religions, the faiths around us.

00:34:01: Like so many of them speak of non-violence being kind to nature and taking care of the world and being respectful to your parents like there's... There is so much out that already but what sets Christ apart?

00:34:19: personified so many of those things and lived them out himself, so truly.

00:34:26: As followers of Jesus like we're instructed to follow the rules but really it's...we put our faith in him um and mould ourselves as much as possible to be..and have a character of jesus like.

00:34:47: very early on in my faith journey, it became so clear to me that the Indians I knew from South Asian communities were different than what they were at church.

00:35:01: There was something we all had in common and that was like where we were from, the way we dressed.

00:35:09: And the food we ate The languages we spoke...the way Banta worked between us.

00:35:15: Like so many things that we had That are similar But different to my Hindu Indian friends.

00:35:21: My Christian Indian friends forgave really easily.

00:35:26: They didn't judge they understood why I have to be home at four pm didn't make fun of the one person wearing something slightly different, didn't leave people out.

00:35:40: There was no um there was no backstabbing...there was no animosity between young people in the group because there was this shared understanding that we're called to have for our character to be different.

00:35:55: and so like when I look at my-at like the different groups of friends i had as a teenager I had a favorite group of friends, many best friends but like the favourite ones that i wanted to hang out with reflected

00:36:09: Christ

00:36:10: and so The Paul came quite organically.

00:36:15: And it was so magnetic!

00:36:18: It's only on reflection now where I'm nearing thirty That can look back and see just how valuable Christian Friends are for teenagers.

00:36:33: and building those relationships from all the way, like that tender age of two in a church setting means that these little two-year olds won't ever really know their life without each other.

00:36:48: And as they grow and move through different stages of Church Life and the different youth groups will grow up doing life together.

00:36:59: I think there is such spiritual privilege and protection that comes from where your favourite friends reflect Christ.

00:37:09: And it makes such a huge difference to the choices you make in life, to people around yourselves with... ...and their love for the people around them like family or world they're set into!

00:37:22: So there is something completely set apart about.

00:37:26: Christ is undeniable once you've seen it because it gets reflected back to so often in the people that you surround yourself with.

00:37:36: Well,

00:37:37: that's why you serve on Kids Team now maybe?

00:37:39: It is yeah!

00:37:40: And like I don't know if you got any other questions but my one that's just as maybe wrap up... You both serve in church here together and doing lots of different things in that way.

00:37:53: Why do you do that?

00:37:54: what was motivating?

00:37:56: What's the joy of it for you as a couple?

00:38:01: It is joyful to do, at the end of day that your serving because you want to serve.

00:38:07: Because You like bring joy to others and you see them develop in their faith or friendships Or just church life.

00:38:18: We all have our own skillset & roles And I think God has given those to us.

00:38:30: We'd put you in front of the camera, we wouldn't

00:38:35: have to be behind it.

00:38:38: So yeah... It's just a joy isn'it?

00:38:43: I think that is perspective like not alot people have

00:38:45: though

00:38:47: after i've finished youth on a Sunday Yeah, and it was the best.

00:38:55: Like.

00:38:56: It's so life-giving to me And joyful I'm like if i am on youth every week.

00:39:00: yeah sounds great.

00:39:02: I

00:39:02: guess that thing is true isn't?

00:39:04: If you have tasted and seen Lord as good You want others to experience That then anything can get To do might be hard work but there Is joy in it.

00:39:12: I love getting to watch those young people become Best friends with each

00:39:15: other.

00:39:16: Thought Park does that too.

00:39:19: top tips for any youth workers out there.

00:39:21: Taking the thought part, sticking on a scary ride together.

00:39:23: they'll

00:39:24: be best friends.

00:39:25: but like you're right I'm watching these young people grow these really beautiful friendships with each other and then they want to hang outside of my youth group.

00:39:36: And that's what we wanna do isn't it?

00:39:37: We've been creating that space for years For young people who make friendships.

00:39:42: That community were talking about...I think we won in local context.

00:39:47: We know that there's a need in the national context too, so the spaces we're creating are trying to hit them as well.

00:39:52: I hope there is many more Rhea Arsha friendships... ...in the future of Nordavon

00:39:58: and Peter Sanjh.

00:40:02: And more Arsher & Peter combos!

00:40:06: I'm a big fan!

00:40:08: Amazing!

00:40:10: I think we should drink more tea.

00:40:14: It's a finish.

00:40:17: Always!

00:40:19: A good way.

00:40:21: Slurpy, slurpy time, mate.

00:40:22: Big slurp Are we ready?

00:40:23: Oh yeah.